I was lazing about in the park in early July under the guise of reading a magazine (but really, unabashedly people watching) when this idea first struck me.
I, like hundreds of others that day, had descended on a small park in my neighborhood with no purpose other than an excuse to be out of my apartment. New York City in Summer 2020 felt like what I’d imagine a great pilgrimage to be: Flocks of people, at all hours, heading to or from the park. There are more than 1,700 parks in the five boroughs, and in Manhattan, especially, you must only walk a matter of blocks before stumbling upon a park.
They don’t all have the grandeur of Central Park or Prospect Park or pulsate with the fast pace of Washington Square Park or The High Line. Still, parks are a great equalizer because they offer a place to gather.
Whilst people watching, it occurred to me: All of us in the park, and all of us in the country, were enduring this pandemic—but were our experiences vastly different or altogether similar?
In the nearly 20 years since September 11, I’ve observed that those of us who remember that day are prone to recount in pretty precise detail our personal experience. It’s the modern-day equivalent of that famous post-1960s query: “Where were you when JFK was assassinated?”
I got to wondering how we’ll remember this time, what the defining moments will be for us collectively and individually, and how our experiences varied based on where we stood in the pandemic domino line. Of course, a lot depends on how close we were to the virus itself—but also our experiences as our daily lives changed radically. I have friends strewn about the country, which made my musings ripe for answers.
I put out a call to friends, pressed send, and waited for someone to bite. And people did! I had 10 takers in New York, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Georgia, Arizona, and South Carolina. None of them know each other well, or at all, and I made sure no one corresponded with an acquaintance.
Here’s how it worked:
I sent 2 cards to each participant. On 1 card, I wrote something pandemic-related (a memory, something I pondered, etc.). The other was blank.
I asked each penpaller to respond to my prompt (in the same card).
In the 2nd card, I asked each penpaller to write about a pandemic-related topic of her/his choosing and then send it to another participant.
In the ensueing weeks, each penpaller would ideally receive a 3rd card from another penpaller and respond to that.
In total, each participant was scheduled to touch 3 cards (respond to 2 prompts and write 1) and ultimately send 2 cards back to me in the mail.
Of course, not all goes as planned. One penpaller preferred his contributions stay off the internet, so I abided by that request. Others didn’t get around to responding or the cards got lost in the proverbial mail. As a result, there's not enough penpaller-to-penpaller interaction. But those who participated did so in spades.
In the end, I received 12 of 20 cards. I am biased, but I love what’s written. It's beautiful, honest, and vulnerable. The cards are a snapshot of our lives.
Here they are, without further ado, in no particular order:
Time
“So, here’s what I’ve really found through this strange ordeal: All of the shit I used to do that I thought was super important, is definitely not.”
“Time spent playing in a field of dandelions is never time wasted.”
People
“It’s strange to think how central to your daily life these strangers who really aren’t strangers are.”
“A little cottage in the woods sounds cute and all, but mostly it’s terribly lonely.”
Anticipation
“By June, I started noticing how I wasn’t waiting / or looking forward to something coming up.”
“In my adult life, my calendar has never been so free.”
Normalcy
“I loitered about, ate from a buffet, sat at a bar. All things that seem needlessly reckless now.”
“I’ve never thought less about a big purchase in my life. It was strange.”
Boundaries
“I’ve been thinking about boundaries a lot lately.”
“I’ve also noticed that during the pandemic, we’ve all drawn circles around ourselves, and are selective about who is in and out of that circle.”
Changes
“I remember as scary as it was at first, there was a day or two (or a week—don’t remember) where I was cozy inside working from home.”
“Despite all of the uncertainty of what’s to come, and the feeling time has been suspended, I kind-of can’t wait for fall and winter to roll around so I can watch (and feel) the seasons change while holing up at home with my dogs.”
Life
“So what is worse? Losing one of your big years or losing one of your last?”
“Imagine trying to learn how to read right now.”
Family
“Maybe the allure is less to be where you want and more to be with who you want.”
“We’re close to who we love, but we can’t be together the way we want.”
Division
“And for a few weeks, it felt like we were maybe coming together during this madness.”
“Is this new reality yet another way our society will break apart from each other?”
Music
“Remember the summer of ‘Call Me Maybe?’”
“I don’t listen to the Tarzan soundtrack in my Brooklyn apartment, but I love listening to 'Son of a Man' as I drive up a mountain.”